What Are You Creating? Joy or Drama?

We know that we create our lives. We either do it deliberately or by default. We either make decisions or decisions get made for us.

So what is it you want to create in your relationships? How are your relationships now? They are mirroring your current thoughts. I realize it may not be what you consciously want to create, but it is what you are subconsciously creating.

So let’s bring the truth to the surface so you can change it to what you want.

There are some people who want to have lives of drama, but most of us who find ourselves involved in drama, just don’t know how to change our situations. After all drama is rich and deep, but also ultimately exhausting and boring.

So how do you change from drama to joy?

First you start with an intention. If you are ready for joy, then start by thinking about how you want your life to be without the drama. Imagine your life the way you really want it to be. Think of all the positive things in your life. How things have gone your way.

Do you want to have a joyful, fun loving relationship with a man or woman who respects you, has integrity, honors their commitments, honors your boundaries? Add to that list.

Then answer the question WHY. Why do you want this relationship? This is crucial to you bringing it into creation. The WHY adds the richness and depth to what you want. It paints the picture with all the colors, texture and depth.

Then look to see if you have any doubts or negative thoughts. Those negative thoughts or doubts will block the flow of what you want.

So if you think that you can’t have a relationship without drama, then look at why you need drama. What does it give you?

Most of us who had or have drama in our lives were victims of someone early on. That was our real drama. We were young and innocent and someone took that innocence away from us. We had to survive and we lived with drama and it became familiar.

But as you heal from that through coaching, counseling or spirituality, then you can move past the drama in your relationships

Having drama in your life isn’t bad. There are lots of appropriate and healthy ways of getting the drama you used to get from relationships.

For instance, you can volunteer to work with homeless people. Or go to a children’s hospital and participate in programs for children who are battling cancer, aids or autism. Or go to a nursing home and help the elderly who have no one else to care about them. They have real drama and if you like drama that may be a perfect fit for you.

Now by allowing yourself to remove the drama from your relationships you are now free to create joy in them.


Choose it!

Start by bringing joyful thoughts into your mind.Appreciating all the things in your life. Look at the little things. The many blessings you already have.

Write down all the positive things in your life. Start with a blank notebook and a page for each topic. Write down all the positive things about your home, work, love life, family, friendships and health. Read it and add to it daily.

You create from the positive, not from the negative.Focusing on the negative only gets you more negative.

Also, and I’ve shared this before – start your day reading a powerful spiritual book instead of watching the news. Do your morning ritual with tea or coffee and peaceful music and enjoy the beginning of the day. Set an intention to experience joy each day. Choose joy!! Meditate to quiet your mind.

Choose to unconditionally love yourself. Stop when you criticize yourself or get angry with yourself. Be loving instead. Remember you are always growing.

Another aspect of joy is compassion. Be compassionate. The more compassionate you feel toward yourself and others, the more joy you will feel.

As you master unconditional love and compassion you will feel joy. Feel it moment to moment. That’s how joy works. It comes from being, not doing.

We are here to feel joy. From that joyful place we are uplifted and we have the ability to positively impact 10 million people. (See “Power vs Force” – Hawkins.)

Start by choosing joy and uplifting yourself and those around you.

imagine the possibilities…

© Carol Chanel

Q & A

From Sandy, a 32-year-old, self-employed Public Relations specialist from Chicago

Q: Carol, I find that I worry about everything in my life. My boyfriends have all said that they eventually were driven away by my worrying. I don’t know how to stop. I don’t want to worry any more; I just don’t know how to stop. Help!

A: Sandy, good for you for owing up to this troubling habit. Worry is a habit. And it is destructive as you’re seeing by the exodus of your boyfriends. It will ultimately be destructive to your health – both physical and mental.

So where does worrying really come from? A disconnection from Source / God. From feeling like you are all alone in the world and that you can’t handle what has been given to you because it’s too much. So your mind goes into fear and that creates worry.

David Hawkins, in his book “Power vs. Force,” says that when we are in a state of consciousness of fear, our God-view is Punitive, our Life-view is Frightening, our Emotion is Anxiety and our Process is Withdrawal.

So starting with your God-view, if you see God or Source as punitive, then you are in fear and you will worry. God isn’t punitive. Man is. God/ Source is love.

If life seems frightening then you are in fear and worry follows. Your emotion is anxiety and then you withdraw. And when you’re frightened and anxious you withdraw, and then you worry.

So you need to reconnect to Source. Say a prayer, or just start talking to Source again. Ask for guidance, ask for help to reconnect. Every one of us disconnects on a daily basis. Eventually we get better at recognizing it and at reconnecting.

Then turn to Source for guidance with your problems and concerns. You aren’t doing this alone. You are supported and protected all the time.

Remember Sandy, there are only two emotions – fear and love. So when you are worrying you are in fear and not in love. Move back to love. Read or re-read “The Power of Intention” by Dr. Wayne Dyer.

Sandy, worrying is fear and a disconnection from Source. So read, pray, walk, talk, meditate, do yoga, anything to reconnect. Turn your fears – your ego – over to Source / God and go out and enjoy your life. 


I’ve been reading a wonderful book that I want to share with you all. Now I want to tell you something right up front. The material in this book is supposedly channeled. I never worry about where material comes from; I pay attention to how I feel when I read it. If I feel positive and uplifted then I will buy the book and read it.

I’ve known about this particular source of information – Abraham – for years and I never gave it much thought. Everything I heard was positive and one day a client sent me some excerpts from this book and I liked it so much, that I went to the Bodhi Tree, a wonderful spiritual bookstore here in LA to check it out.

By the way, the Bodhi Tree’s website is: http://www.bodhitree.com

There were two books – Book I and II. I didn’t buy Book I, but I did buy Book II and loved it.

“A NEW BEGINNING II” BY Abraham-Hicks. On the front of the book it reads: “A Personal Handbook to Enhance Your Life, Liberty and Pursuit of Happiness.”

Sounded good so far.

Also on the cover:

“The Basis of your Life is Freedom
The Objective of your Life is Joy
The Result of your Life is Growth”

I experienced great joy reading this book. You will become aware of how often you might tend to create negative experiences in your life, and just as quickly you will be reminded to create the positive by changing your thoughts and feelings.

If you haven’t read a lot of spiritual books, you might want to start with Book 1 to get a good foundation, otherwise I think you can start with Book II.

Happy Creating!!!

Carol's Services

I teach people to overcome the obstacles that keep them stuck yet longing for romantic relationships, more self-confidence and inspiration to accomplish their dreams.

We sometimes forget what it feels like to live from our hearts and souls. We forget the thrill of taking the brakes off and flying. Life is dull if we just live from our minds.

Are you - or someone you know - settling, for less than exciting, either in relationships or a career?

You can visit my website at:

You'll find other articles there and more in-depth information about both my services and me.

Carol Chanel
Certified Life Coach

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