The Number 1 Thing Not to Do if You Want Something – Don’t Block the Flow

One of the many things I observe my clients doing is blocking what it is they say they want.

We block all sorts of things. Love, success, clients, health, happiness. Anything that comes to us from the flow can get blocked.

I like looking at where we block things, because that we can do something about. Right away.


Blocking is an obstruction we put up – energetically – that keeps things from coming to us. It is usually not conscious.

Once it becomes conscious then it’s much easier to stop blocking. To open the flow.


Well, as I mentioned it’s an energetic process. When we put our energy somewhere that isn’t constructive for our purpose, then we use it up for the wrong, or insignificant, things.


One of my clients saw John, an alternative healer. She liked him and thought he had excellent training in a healing method that has worked for centuries.

While taking her case study, John became upset about her internist. He went on and on about doctors. To the point where she had to finally stop him.

There wasn’t any need for him to spend any energy thinking or fretting about her doctor. She was there seeing John because she disagreed with her doctor.

Now what do you think John is doing with his healing energy? He’s draining it away on something he has no control over and something he doesn’t even need to be thinking or worrying about.

Instead of focusing on the new client in front of him, he’s spending time and energy fussing about something he has no control over – her doctor.

Now what is the likelihood that she will refer someone to John? Zero chance.

She wouldn’t subject her friends to his problem. So his anger about the medical community is blocking his healing gift.

And John is blocking the flow of clients by expending his energy on something that serves no purpose.

He might instead notice that her doctor was not serving her the way he would. And then set out to be open-minded and open to allowing his gift to help her. That would have opened the flow. He blocked the flow.

Let me give you another example. I have a friend who is afraid of love. And so she never fixed up her condo because then she had an excuse to not have men over to her place.

However she made it seem that the problem was that she couldn’t find a good painter or the right shade of green. All the external stuff.

Then one day I gently told her that I thought she was intentionally not getting her place fixed up so she had an excuse not to date. She eventually agreed that was true. Now her place looks fabulous and she is dating. She opened the flow.


People block love by worrying and being fearful.A man might be afraid of rejection so he doesn’t ask out the woman he knows would be right for him.

A woman is afraid of losing love so she unconsciously keeps the man from getting too close and thus drives him away.

A person thinks they can’t afford the best doctor so they go to someone second rate and they don’t get well. By the way, my experience is the universe always provides for the best medical help.


To get to this, sometimes it helps to think of what someone you know is doing. Then with that same objectivity, look at your own life.

Where are you blocking the flow? What are you blocking? Is it love, money, clients, health? What is it? How are you blocking it?

Awareness is the first key. Changing your behavior is the second.


First admit where you are blocking. Then look at why. Get some help with these steps if you need it. Ask a friend for some objective input. Remember to tell them how you want to hear it.

Then set your intention to change your behavior. If you are afraid of asking someone out, do it anyway and know you won’t die if they say no.

If you are spending your time thinking about other people’s problems then refocus back to yourself. What is it you need to take care of?

I remember a psychic told me my messy garage was blocking my flow. We cleaned out that garage immediately and it opened up the flow. It was so great to walk into the garage and not get overwhelmed with disorder and too much stuff. Plus we gave things away that others could use. The flow in action….

After you’re aware, then center yourself. Ask whatever or whoever you believe in to help you open up the flow again. Trust and faith.

Don’t spend time thinking or worrying about things that are beyond your control.

Don’t waste your energy living in fear.

It’s just as simple to choose love, abundance, clients, health and happiness, as it is to choose the opposites.

Remember it’s a choice – what we think about and where and how we spend our energy.

So choose to focus on love, abundance, success, health and happiness.

imagine the possibilities…..

© Carol Chanel

Q & A

From Don, a 36-year-old engineer in Silicon Valley

Q: “I can’t seem to meet the woman of my dreams. Every time I think I’ve met the right woman, she turns into a psycho. What can I do to meet a normal, fun, smart, attractive woman?”

A: Don, this is not an unusual dilemma. Here is what my experience has shown me and what I learned from the rest of your email.

First, I know by psycho you mean possessive, slightly neurotic, hysterical women. They have lots of drama in their lives.

I think from what you wrote that you are bored with your work. Generally when we attract a dramatic type into our life we need some excitement in our lives. For men they usually need exciting work, or at the very least, hobbies. Otherwise they will draw drama to them in an unhealthy manner.

You’ve chosen women. So your boredom in your life is blocking the flow of healthy, fun women to you. In some way you think they would be boring or at least not overly stimulating.

Then because you are so involved with all the drama these women bring, you don’t really have the energy left to ask out a healthy woman.

You get exhausted, pull back, regroup, then get really bored and off you go again.

So Don, TAKE A RISK. Change jobs, change departments, take a trip around the world, start skydiving, do something that challenges your mind. Take up Improv or Stand-Up comedy. That will get your heart racing and your mind won’t have time for any extra drama. Not for one second will you be bored.

Happy Risk Taking!


My clients always ask me for books that will support their learning and growth.

Let me share my favorites with you.

“Seat of the Soul” by Gary Zukav

“The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle

“The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz

“The Divine Romance” by Paramahansa Yogananda

“There’s a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem” by Dr. Wayne Dyer

“Manifest Your Destiny” by Dr. Wayne Dyer

“Intimacy, Trusting Oneself and the Other” by Osho

“Care of the Soul” by Thomas Moore

“Love Without Conditions” by Paul Ferrini

“Diamond Heart” Books 1-4 by A.H. Almaas


Carol's Services

I teach people to overcome the obstacles that keep them stuck yet longing for romantic relationships, more self-confidence and inspiration to accomplish their dreams.

We sometimes forget what it feels like to live from our hearts and souls. We forget the thrill of taking the brakes off and flying. Life is dull if we just live from our minds.

Are you - or someone you know - settling, for less than exciting, either in relationships or a career?

You can visit my website at:

You'll find other articles there and more in-depth information about both my services and me.

Carol Chanel
Certified Life Coach 

TO SUBSCRIBE to this e-zine:

FEEDBACK: Your feedback is always welcome and appreciated! Write me at

PRIVACY POLICY: I respect your privacy and *DO NOT* give out, rent or sell my subscribers' names and/or e-mail addresses. You will never get an unsolicited email from a stranger as a result of joining this list.