The Essential Step For Lasting Change

I recently went to a fascinating Abraham workshop.  I was completely riveted the entire time.

One concept Abraham talked about helps you use the power of the Law of Attraction to bring lasting change into your life.  This isn’t a new concept but it’s essential for change.

Remember, the Law of Attraction says we get what we think about whether we want it or not.  So we want to think about what we do want and not think about what we don’t want.  Sounds easy, so how come we don’t move forward?

How come sometimes we end up right back where we started?  It’s because of our set points.

Set Points are points in our life that we move to and then stop.  Thus creating a SET point. 

If you’ve always felt fabulous no matter what, then you have a set point that says you’re fabulous.  However if you don’t feel fabulous because you think you’re 10 pounds overweight, then you have a set point that says you don’t feel fabulous at that weight.

Since weight is not a determinant in feeling fabulous, nor is any other external situation, I want to help you change those set points so you can experience your life feeling fabulous – no matter what!

How Set Points Look

I think it helps to have a visual image of what set points look like so you use the visual as you mentally work on shifting them.

Have you ever caught your coat in a car door?  You try to walk but you get pulled or snapped back. You can’t go anywhere – unless you want to tear your clothing – until you open the car door and release your coat.  You can try all you want, but you aren’t moving forward.

The same is true with changing set points.  You have to change something in order to move forward.  Until you open the car door – your mind – you can’t move forward.  You can’t change your set point.

The way you move your set point in your mind is by changing how you think and more importantly, how you FEEL about something.  It’s equivalent to opening the car door. You are opening to change where you currently are to where you want to be.

You want to talk about a desired change from a Feeling place, AS IF you were already there. 


Stuck Set Points

If you feel afraid that you’ll never lose weight and you get frustrated if you don’t lose any, or you gain it back when you do lose it, then you have a stuckset point.

And just like the tension of trying to walk when your coat is caught in your car door, a stuck set point can feel stressful and make you anxious.  It’s not possible to produce lasting change from there.

So let’s change your set points!

To keep this from getting too long, I’m breaking it into two parts so I can cover various scenarios that might be keeping you from feeling fabulous.

This week I’ll do two scenarios – feeling fabulous and dating. Next week I’ll cover losing weight, getting hired and couple problem scenarios.


Feeling Fabulous Challenge Scenario

I mentioned in the opening that for some people if they are 10 pounds overweight they don’t feel fabulous.   Maybe for you it’s because you aren’t working at your dream job, or your family wasn’t educated or rich, or you didn’t go to a top notch college, or your legs aren’t slim, or you think you’re hips are too wide, or you aren’t super talented in a particular area and so you don’t feel fabulous.

First, feeling fabulous is an internal feeling.  It is not connected to anything external.  It’s only connected if you tell yourself it is. 

Remember “The 10 Easy Steps for Feeling Fabulous” are designed to help you feel physically, mentally and spiritually fabulous.  They can support and guide you to that feeling place. Ultimately you have to shift internally, open the car door, to know you are fabulous.

So if you aren’t feeling fabulous because you are dealing with an unpleasant or undesirable external situation, let’s change your set point so you can feel fabulous.

Let’s take the “I’m too hippy” or “I’m not curvaceous enough in the right places” concept.  We’re talking body image.  Women think they have to look like magazine models to feel fabulous. But their photos are touched up.  Remember Cindy Crawford says she wished she looked like Cindy Crawford when she woke up in the morning. Thanks for the honesty Cindy!

So instead let’s change your set point to feel good about your body and yourself with your curves or straight lines.

Remember you’re going to talk from a feeling place, as if you are already there.  Here are some of the positive feelings you might include:  happy, safe, confident, joyful, loving, energized, excited and optimistic.

Here’s what you might say:

“I feel so good knowing my body works really hard for me.  I like knowing that I can count on it to move around, get me from place to place.  I feel happy knowing that I am a spiritual being having a human experience.  I feel blessed to be here having life experiences.  I have lips that can kiss and enjoy the love that comes from that action. I have arms that can hug and be hugged and I love feeling the warmth of love coming from my heart and from another’s heart to me. That makes me feel really good to kiss and hug others. I like my curves and I like how feminine I feel when I wear dresses that work for my body.  Or I like the lean look of my body and how easily it moves.  I feel light and free. I am now choosing to feel good about myself, just because I can.  I can laugh and make jokes with friends.  I have a warm and kind heart.  I feel good about myself when I smile and am helpful to others less fortunate.  When I’m being me – kind and loving or funny and helpful – I feel joyful and glad to be alive. I’m here to enjoy my life.  And I am enjoying it.  Joy is my birthright and I feel good about myself. I’m excited to start my day from this perspective of joy and laughter and serving.  I am bright and can figure things out quickly and help people move forward.  I’m exhilarated when I help my friends.  It makes me feel worthwhile.  I am fabulous after all.”

Dating Challenge Scenarios

Do you ever notice that some of your friends always get asked out on dates by great guys?  Or they always have a fantastic boyfriend?  No doubt some friends found wonderful partners.  They have a set point that says, great guys will ask me out, I always have a good boyfriend, or I always will have a wonderful partner.

As you think about it, you might realize you have a set point that says, “I’ve never had a fantastic boyfriend and at this point in my life I probably won’t. I’d like to, but it probably won’t happen for me.”  (This one is near and dear to my heart, because at the age of 36 I still hadn’t had a good boyfriend and that’s how I sounded. Then I kicked that step point to oblivion and married an amazing man when I was 40.  So this technique works. Read on.)

Maybe you’re not that pessimistic.  Maybe your mind is a little more subtle – trickier.  “I don’t want to lose my freedom.”  “I think men make good friends.”  “I’d like a fantastic boyfriend but it might not be in the cards for me this lifetime, so I’d better just enjoy my life as it is.”

All of the above can be true – a man can block your freedom – if you let him.  They can make good friends and that doesn’t mean they can’t also be good boyfriends.  And it’s true you want to enjoy your life as it is.  Always wise. However, not if it means you’re really thinking you’ll never have love.

So whatever your set point is around relationships – single or married – if you want to change something you have to change your set point by feeling, in the now, what it would feel like to be at the new set point.

It could sound something like:

“I’m having so much fun dating.  My creative energy is flowing when I’m figuring out what to wear.  I know I look good and that makes me feel good.  I’m going places where I feel comfortable and that lets me feel safe to express myself.  I love feeling free to express myself .  I’m enjoying the company of my date.  I feel so at ease with him.  We talk easily and effortlessly.  I have a new sense of myself with this man.  I feel excited and confident.  I feel interesting and interested.  As I’m with this man I’m truly inspired to be playful and joyful.  I love how we tease and playfully challenge each other.  I feel desirable.  I can’t believe how the time has just flown by.  This is so much fun, I’m looking forward to another date.  I feel completely confident that we’ll see each other again soon and have more fun.” And so on.

Be in the now, act AS IF you’re already enjoying dating one or more people, and talk about how you’re feeling – happy, safe, confident, joyful, loving, energized, excited and optimistic.

Change your set points to bring about lasting change in your life. Do it by connecting to the feeling of already being there, feel and talk as if you’re already there.  When you do change is inevitable.

Have fun with this process.  It works and it’s simple.

Imagine the possibilities. . . .

© Carol Chanel

Q & A

One of my clients called the other day and asked me for some steps to keep her from getting stuck in Yuma. Since she’s been working with me for a while she had the framework that I outlined in the main article. I wanted you all to have the framework so you could put the steps to work in your life.

Happy Dreaming, Happy Achieving


If you want more information about the subject matter in the main article there are two brilliant books and a CD that are insightful and inspiring.

“The Power of Intention” by Dr. Wayne Dyer

“Ask and It’s Given” by Abraham-Hicks

Abraham-Hicks Kansas City 9/14/05 CD – single CD, about $15.
Available on their website:
Or you can call them to order it at 1-830-755-2299

These books and CD’s are uplifting, inspiring and powerful and provide the tools you’ll need to have a life of happiness, love, fulfillment and joy.

Keep believing, allowing and receiving!

Carol's Services

I teach people to overcome the obstacles that keep them stuck yet longing for romantic relationships, more self-confidence and inspiration to accomplish their dreams.

We sometimes forget what it feels like to live from our hearts and souls. We forget the thrill of taking the brakes off and flying. Life is dull if we just live from our minds.

Are you - or someone you know - settling, for less than exciting, either in relationships or a career?

You can visit my website at:

You'll find other articles there and more in-depth information about both my services and me.

Carol Chanel
Certified Life Coach 

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