Knock Your Blocks Off & Realize Your Dreams!
A blockbuster’s guide for the New Year
At the beginning of every year many of us sit down and think about what we want to accomplish.
In our minds we’re given a clean slate and we are able to start anew. As we sit dreaming about the year ahead, we are awash with joy, dreams, desires and determination.
We are “contemplating our way to what we want” to quote Wayne Dyer. He talks about this on his PBS special, “The Power of Intention.”
So we contemplate what we want and we are in the process of creating it and all of a sudden something happens to stop us.
Out of a desire to help everyone keep on track I am beginning the new year by offering you some tips to keep you from getting derailed.
WHAT BLOCKS YOU?
The biggest thing we know that blocks you is your own ego. In coaching we refer to it as the Gremlin. The Gremlin constantly gets in your way. He talks you out of taking risks, opening up your heart; he shuts the dreaming down and tells you all sorts of mean and often ridiculous things about yourself.
For those of you who are sports fans let’s look at an example that occurred last weekend. Now if you don’t like football just bear with me and you’ll see and feel the perfection of the example and the learning from it.
It was the NFL Wild Card playoffs and the San Diego Chargers had a great opportunity to win the game and go to the next round. Clearly those men and their wives and children were all filled with great hope and dreams of winning.
And they had a brilliant head coach, a man who had turned the team around. But this coach had a little challenge. He had never won a championship before. He always seemed “jinxed.” Or so the story went.
As the game neared the end, the Chargers were behind but had a chance to tie or win. We watched the coach turn to conservative play calling, be unwilling to take a risk when he needed to, put too much pressure on a rookie kicker in terrible weather conditions. He missed the field goal and they lost.
The coach played not to lose. He didn’t play to win. And so he lost. He had cost all those people, and himself, their dreams. Now it’s just a game. But it’s a great example of how the gremlin will talk you out of doing what you know you need to do to win, to live your dreams.
Compare that to Oprah who many years ago turned down a $22,000 a year job as an anchor woman in Baltimore. Her father wanted her to take the job. It was stable and could mean a good, safe life. But she took a risk and followed her dreams. I think I’ll follow Oprah’s path – are you with me?
So think of an example where you are playing not to lose. And play instead to win!
To knock your Gremlin out of the way, imagine taking this big hairy Gremlin and putting him someplace. I put mine in a box, other people put him in the trash can. Wherever you want – just knock him out of your head.
The second thing that blocks us from creating what we want is we take things personally and we get offended.
As Wayne Dyer says in “The Power of Intention” we need to stop being offended. Getting offended blocks our connection to Source. And Source gives us what we ask for and want.
We get offended by what others say or do, by how they dress, by their politics, by their speech, by their choices in friends or mates. We get offended by all sorts of things. And that reaction comes directly from our egos, our Gremlin.
If you’re getting offended you are taking things personally. It’s not about you. It’s not about you being right, better, smarter, cooler, hipper. It’s about the other person. It’s about their choices and their consequences.
Getting offended is a waste of energy. And it will stop your process.
Taking things personally is a ploy by your Gremlin to make everything about you. It’s not about you.
Suppose you’re dating someone and they don’t like your grammar and keep correcting you. That’s their problem. If they don’t stop, don’t be offended. Choose whether you want to be around someone who corrects your grammar.
Stop being offended. Stop taking things personally. Don’t use your precious energy on the negative. Use it to keep focusing on your dreams.
Knock those thoughts right out of your mind! Tell them to get lost.
The third thing that blocks us from realizing our dreams is getting distracted.
How often do we get going and then allow other things to get in the way. That’s why in coaching we find out what the clients’ main intention is – what they most want to accomplish in coaching – and we help them stick to it.
Life can get in the way, if we let it. When you have a coach, you have someone helping you stay focused, on purpose and moving forward.
So if you catch yourself getting distracted, hire a coach, ask a friend to hold you accountable, reward yourself when you accomplish what you need to.
Knock those distractions out of the way. Create a list and do them later. Whatever it takes to stay focused. Do anything that has you stay focused, taking action steps and moving forward.
So let yourself dream. Contemplate what you want. Set your intentions. Write them down in ink. Read them morning and night, out loud.
Don’t let your gremlin talk you out of taking the necessary risks. Stop being offended and taking things personally. Don’t let yourself get distracted.
Take a risk! Be true to yourself and what works for you! Stay focused and on purpose!
Believe — in yourself, in Source, in others.
imagine the possibilities…
© Carol Chanel
Q & A
From a Sylvia, a 25-year-old medical supply sales rep in San Francisco.
Q: Carol, I really want to get my masters and PhD degrees in art history. I love art and the history of it and someday I want to be able to teach. Right now I’m making a lot of money, which allows me to pay for school, set up a retirement fund and have health benefits. But I don’t want to do this forever.
How can I manage to get my advanced degrees and be a top performer at my current job?
A: Sylvia, your vision is so clear and well thought out. Congratulations on being willing to consider how to do both things well.
So let’s start with a realistic plan for you getting your degrees. You thought that it might take you five years to do both. That sounds doable. And since it’s something you love you won’t mind spending time during the evenings and weekends studying.
Here’s some advice. Take some time off from your studies. Just like you would take a vacation from work to refresh your mind, make sure you take a vacation from your studies to refresh your mind. Maybe skip the summer classes.
Then don’t let other things get in the way. Set up and stick to good boundaries. Let your friends and family know what you are doing and how important it is to you. If they support you, great, they can stay in your life. If they don’t, then you might want to consider new friends.
Use the guidelines I wrote about in the above article to keep on track.
And let me know when you get your masters – the first step and we will celebrate your achievement.
Believe in yourself Sylvia – you can do both things well. Pace yourself and believe!
One of the main things that will help you keep focused on your dreams is to live and work in a clutter free, organized space. We know that clutter blocks the creative and material flow. Disorganization wastes precious time and energy.
To that end, my incredible organizer is now available to travel to your homes and offices around the world to help you.
Her name is Jessica Duquette and her company is Inperfect Order.
Jessica has organized both my home and office and my husband’s home office. She is simply amazing. She’s fun, kind, doesn’t judge you about the things you absolutely won’t throw out and she will keep encouraging you to let go of things that you no longer need or use.
I feel like Jessica has a few extra brain cells than most of us and they must have been organizing cells. I don’t know how else to explain what she does. And I do know I love to come home and walk into my organized, clutter free space.
So if you want to start the New Year off in an organized fashion then call Jessica and get started today. You’ll love her and your space!
I teach people to overcome the obstacles that keep them stuck yet longing for romantic relationships, more self-confidence and inspiration to accomplish their dreams.
We sometimes forget what it feels like to live from our hearts and souls. We forget the thrill of taking the brakes off and flying. Life is dull if we just live from our minds.
Are you - or someone you know - settling, for less than exciting, either in relationships or a career?
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Certified Life Coach
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