Is it Going to Work Out With This Person?

This is a question we all ask at the beginning of any type of relationship.

We want to have a rockin’ relationship, we want to be wild and free. And sometimes that just isn’t possible.

And we can find that out sooner rather than later. Before a lot of heartbreak, drama and financial problems.

People tell us who they are at the beginning of a relationship.

What do they tell us? A lot. They tell us about their fears, their loves, their attitudes and their values; whether they thrive on desire, success or pride; if they are they filled with self-love; and where they are on the consciousness scale.

Let’s review the levels of consciousness in David Hawkins’ book, “Power vs. Force.” They start with shame at 20 and go to 1000 for total enlightenment. To really change and grow, a person has to be at 200, the level of courage.

Suppose you’ve met someone who isn’t at your level of consciousness. At first you don’t realize it. Then maybe you hear or see something that doesn’t feel right, but you’re not sure so you turn away from it.

The truth is, there were things that triggered something in your mind but you might have chosen not to listen.

Why not?

Maybe you liked this person and you thought that if you paid attention to the comment or idea then it meant you couldn’t be around them. You no doubt saw some wonderful qualities in the person and didn’t want to be judgmental.

The trouble with going a little unconscious ourselves is that it backfires on us.

Ultimately it’s difficult to have a meaningful relationship, in any capacity, with someone who isn’t at our level. You can be buddies, do things with them, but probably you don’t want to marry them, be their business partner or best friend.


When you’re listening and observing, what you’ll most likely hear first is their fear.

Remember in Hawkins’ book fear is at the level of 100, enlightenment is 1000.

Potential Friend

Let me give you an example. I know a lovely woman who is ruled by fear. She is afraid of everything. Everyone is always out to try to get her.

She’s successful, smart, fun and attractive but fear based. I choose not to spend too much time with her because that fear-based energy is not a match for me. I do, on a daily basis, send her light and love.

A person’s God-view (their view of how God is) at the level of Fear is Punitive and their Life-View (their view of what life is like) is Frightening, so the more light they get the better.

Potential Business Partner

Suppose you meet someone who is aligned with your values of service, ethics, creativity and fun. Then you notice they are proud.

Why is that a problem?

Well if the person is at the Pride level (175) of consciousness then their God-view is indifferent, their Life-view is demanding, their Emotion is scorn and their Process is inflation.

Imagine working day in and day out with a person whose emotion is scorn and who thinks of life as demanding, and who needs to inflate themselves.

Where will the equality be with that type of person? How about the service level? Do you think they’ll want to be collaborative?

It won’t work. Especially if you are past that point on your journey. They are on their journey and they deserve to be allowed the dignity of their process. And you probably don’t want to be their business partner.

So if you listen to what they tell you, you will hear where they are on their consciousness journey and then you can save yourself a lot of professional and personal frustration, and possibly, financial problems.

Potential Life Partner

You’ve met a wonderful person. For the sake of this example let’s say a fabulous man. He’s funny, smart, kind, successful, charming and available.

You have a wonderful time dating him and you feel good about yourself when you’re with him.

However, at times you notice something that makes you flinch a little, but you look past it. He could be the perfect partner.

What you’re noticing is that he is always desiring something — a new car, a new jacket, lots of food, se* or sugar. He’s always buying things.

Yet he’s so wonderful you just attribute it to his enthusiasm for life.

Here’s the problem with a person who desires all the time. Desire is the level of 125. Their God-view is denying, their Life-View is disappointing, their Emotion is craving and their Process is enslavement.

OUCH! Run as fast as you can.

They are always in a state of craving, being enslaved and will try to enslave you. Addicts live at this level.

When someone is at the level of desire they can’t meet you at the level of unconditional love, joy or peace. So bless them and move on.


Understanding people’s levels of consciousness is a useful guide. Next time we’ll look at what to do if you are with someone at a different level.

In the meantime, keep lifting your own level of consciousness. Live your own life.

Meditate, breathe, go for walks, play with children, read spiritual books, go to a yoga class, pray, take a workshop, do whatever you do that lifts you up.

I know you will find it helpful to understand where other people are and to allow them, without judgment, to be exactly where they are.

Remember, it starts with listening to what they’re saying without judgment.

We’ve all been at the lower levels, so please accept and embrace your past, and allow others the dignity of their growth process.

When you do that you choose to lift yourself even higher, to the levels of love, joy, peace and finally enlightenment.


Imagine the possibilities

© Carol Chanel

Q & A

From Alexa a CIO for a high-tech firm in Hamburg Germany:

Q: Carol, I’m limited in growth with my current company and I’m thinking about starting my own business. I work with a man who is very smart, ambitious, and well connected who could be a perfect partner.

However, I’ve seen him be mean to other people at times. He yells, is condescending and at times arrogant. He’s never done it to me and I’m wondering if this is a potential problem.

A: Oh Alexa, I’m so glad you are paying attention to all the behaviors of your colleague before you go into business with him.

He will at some point – this is a good bet – act meanly towards you if you go into business with him.

People, who display a certain type of behavior and aren’t actively working on changing, are going to recreate situations where that behavior will manifest.

Since you paid attention you have an opportunity to attract the perfect partner to you. Spend some time writing down the qualities you want this person to have. Think of strengths and challenges that you have and what would compliment them.

Write out what is the impact you want to have by starting this business. The impact on yourself, the marketplace and your customers.

What is the ideal location, office space, all the details. See it in your mind.

Then start working with Wayne Dyer’s book “The Power of Intention” and set your intention to create exactly what you want and go for it.

Alexa, you are on your way. Have fun creating and manifesting!


I work with a brilliant energy healer who helps to lift your level of consciousness and remove any energy that you no longer need. There are only two people who I will let work with me and he’s one of them.

Sometimes we pick up energy from other people – that needs to be removed. And we can always use help lifting our consciousness levels. Jean Michel will do both.

Not only is he an amazing healer, he’s also a kind man, a bright light, has no judgment and fills you with love and joy.

He lives in France and he’s coming to LA in October for a few weeks.

He charges $130 U.S. for an hour and it will be the best $130 U.S. you ever spent.

If there is any way you can get to LA or to France to do a session with him I highly recommend it.

If you have any questions please email me and I’ll be happy to answer them.

In the meantime have fun lifting your consciousness!

Carol's Services

I teach people to overcome the obstacles that keep them stuck yet longing for romantic relationships, more self-confidence and inspiration to accomplish their dreams.

We sometimes forget what it feels like to live from our hearts and souls. We forget the thrill of taking the brakes off and flying. Life is dull if we just live from our minds.

Are you - or someone you know - settling, for less than exciting, either in relationships or a career?

You can visit my website at:

You'll find other articles there and more in-depth information about both my services and me.

Carol Chanel
Certified Life Coach 

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