How to Take Your Power Back!

Someone asked me the other day what I did for a living and I said “I help women take their power back and learn to stand solidly in it.”

One woman immediately said, “Oh I need to take my power back but how do I do that?”  Another woman said, “But how do I know if I’ve lost my power.  What does that even feel like?”

The answer to those questions is crucial to reclaiming your power.

A loss of power has you feeling weak and unable to stand up for yourself.  Kind of like you just ran ten miles when you’re used to running two.

You might also notice you’re feeling angry about something and you can’t let it go.  That’s the mind’s way of trying to regain power.  Anger has a lot of energy to it and when you’re feeling powerless, it’s a natural instinct to reach for anger to feel some power again.

The downside occurs when you consistently reach for anger, because it isn’t an authentic or effective long-term way to regain your power.

So let’s look at the real reason why you’re feeling a loss of power.  There’s only one core reason – FEAR.

There is something going on in your mind and/or life that you are reacting to by feeling fearful.  For instance, maybe you are afraid of losing something or someone, or you’re afraid something bad will happen, or feeling mistrustful or afraid of someone – maybe an ex, a boss or a family member.

No matter what the situation the common feeling is fear-based.  And when you’re feeling fearful, you lose your power.  It’s the byproduct of feeling fear.  And usually anxiety follows, causing even more loss of power.

So the way to reclaim your power is:

First, calm yourself with some slow deep exhalations to get grounded.

Second, tune into your heart and look at the fear.  Be kind and compassionate with yourself.  You’re human, it’s normal to feel fear.  It’s when you stay in fear based thinking for too long that you lose your sense of power.

Third, from your grounded and heart-centered place you’re going to look for an effective solution to whatever is causing the fear.  Work with a friend, mentor, coach, anyone who can help you strategize some action steps to get to a solution.

So for example, if you’re afraid of losing your job, that might keep you from telling your boss that working late every night isn’t cutting it.  The longer you wait to tell him, the more afraid you become of the outcome, and then you begin to feel powerless.  You’ll complain to your friends, instead of explaining to your boss.  The complaining causes you to lose power, the explaining gives you a sense of power.

Another example might be not spending so much money at the holidays.  You promised yourself last year, you weren’t going to do that again.  So this year as you’re thinking about gifts you notice a fearful thought creeping in:  “But what if they get mad at me, or what if they think I’m cheap, what if …”

If you hear any “what if’s” you know you’re thinking a fear-based thought and if you don’t come up with a solution, you’ll begin to lose your power.

And a time-appropriate example:  suppose you have a relative that you see over the holidays who isn’t your favorite person.  They are condescending, arrogant, and boring.  You’re expected to be nice and even socialize with them.  Oh dear!  If you begin to focus on what a problem it is for you, then you’ll begin to feel helpless to do anything about spending time with them and being miserable.

So instead, plan to include others to balance out that unpleasant energy.  Or plan how you can spend less time with them.  Maybe there is someone you want to take home for the holidays, which gives you a perfect excuse to spend less time with the dreaded relative.

Move out of fearful thinking by grounding yourself and connecting to your heart, and come up with a solution in order to take your power back. 

And then stick to whatever solution you created, or allow an even better one to unfold.  When you believe, the Universe will always drop the best solution into your life.  Keep believing, trusting, listening and implementing.

You’ll be standing back in your power and feeling strong again!

Imagine the possibilities…

© Carol Chanel