“How to be Wild and Free!” Part 6
Feel this for a moment: BEING WILD AND FREE!
Wild in your love and in your willingness to be yourself!
Isn’t that what we want to DO? Isn’t that how we want to BE?
We’ve been reviewing, in previous issues, how to be wild and free.
The previous keys we looked at are: being emotionally healthy,
knowing you are a goddess, holding good boundaries, being
willing to risk it all for the sake of the freedom to be yourself and
taking care of yourself.
The sixth key is letting go of the past.
LETTING GO OF THE PAST
Why is this so important? What does letting go of the past have
to do with being wild and free? EVERYTHING.
If we hold on to the past we are living in all the thoughts of the past.
The doubts, fears, traumas or glories of the past. Are we present?
No. Does what happened in the past define us? Only if we let it.
And if we are living in the past by holding on to it are we being wild
and free? No way! We are stuck in the past.
Let me give you an example of what I did to set myself free this
Saturday by letting go of the past.
As a result of being an abused child, I had developed a terrible
fear of speaking in public. I didn’t want to subject myself to any
more possible abuse. Notice how the past – “the abuse” –
controlled my willingness to be wild and free and to just be
myself in front of a room.
I could be myself everywhere except that one setting.
What were the chances that anyone would hit me? Pretty
slim. Would I die? Probably not! But my mind was telling
me that was possible, maybe even probable.
But that fear from the past kept me from letting go and flying.
In that one area I was stuck.
So I finally decided it was time to be audacious and to face
down the fear — to risk being vulnerable and speak in front
of 80 people.
So after a lot of preparation, I stood up and talked. It was
exhilarating! I’m still flying. The past isn’t holding me back
anymore. I’m planning more talks. I can’t wait!
Since I help people get unstuck, my coaching often focuses
on helping clients let go of the past so they can thrive.
Let me give you an example of how I helped a client named Suzie.
Suzie was bright, smart, educated, attractive, funny, worked hard
and didn’t think she was se*y.
This was a problem in her marriage. Her husband looked at her
and saw a beautiful, se*y woman. She looked at herself and saw
an overweight, tired woman.
It turns out her first real love – Jeff – had a problem. Jeff was highly
critical of Suzie. So instead of acknowledging all the great things
about her – he criticized her. Especially her body. From that point
on she developed a complex and thought she was fat. She wasn’t.
As we coached, she told me how Jeff had been criticized by his
father. It turned out Jeff never felt good enough and he just
passed that right on to her, at the vulnerable age of 19.
Suzie realized that HE had the problem. She stopped judging
herself. And realized the past wasn’t relevant anymore.
She started taking several classes to get back in touch with her
body – yoga, weights, and strip cardio.
She is now wild and free! And her husband is ecstatic!
So if there was one thing from the past that you would choose
to let go of, what would it be?
How would your life be different when you let it go?
One difference is you will be wilder and freer when you do.
LET GO of the past. The past is a perspective – just thoughts
and memories. It isn’t the present.
Without the past stopping you…
imagine the possibilities!
© Carol Chanel
Q & A
his week’s question is from Paul – a marketing
Q: How do I let go of the past and trust my new wife?
“My first wife was too free with spending. I’m remarried to
a beautiful, responsible woman and I find that I am still
keeping tight control of the money?
This is causing a problem in my current marriage.
A: Paul this is so great that you are asking for guidance.
It is natural to be concerned. I know you were burned
before – left with unnecessary debt.
First explain to your current wife the reason for your mistrust.
Tell her your mistrust of her isn’t personal. And that you want
help letting go of the past and learning to trust her.
Then, why don’t you two design a system where you, little by
little, let go of control and start turning some things over to her.
Then the trust will grow and she will be part of the solution.
And you need to “see” that she is responsible and start to
share more and more with her.
And here’s my question back to you Paul – in order to empower
you – what did you learn, about yourself, by having a wife that
was untrustworthy with money?
The question at first might seem unusual; believe me, it will
empower you to learn, accept and not judge the answer or
Great work Paul on the willingness to let your new marriage
be filled with openness and trust.
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We sometimes forget what it feels like to live from our hearts and souls. We forget the thrill of taking the brakes off and flying. Life is dull if we just live from our minds.
Are you - or someone you know - settling, for less than exciting, either in relationships or a career?
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