Healing Your Core Issues
In my last ezine we looked at setups and how to avoid them, and the need to heal your core issues so you could know how to avoid setting yourself up to suffer or fail.
Healing your core issue is probably the important topic I will ever write about and I want to explore it in depth with you, because in order to live an exciting, joyful, loving life you need to heal your core issue.
Until you heal it, then life is more often about struggle, suffering, unfulfilled desires, unhappy days and nights. Or a life that isn’t quite what you thought it would or could be.
What Is A Core Issue?
A core issue is what underlies all the other fears, concerns, dislikes, or negative opinions you have about yourself or your life.
There are two core issues that many people share – not feeling lovable and or not feeling good enough. Are they the same? Maybe.
Most other issues fall under those two including fear of abandonment, rejection, people hurting you (abuse), distrust, insecurity, lack of confidence and jealousy.
When people feel lovable and good enough they are able to overcome those fears.
Steps To Take To Heal Your Core Issues
The first step I always recommend is some form of psychotherapy. Therapy will help you understand where your issues came from, the impact they had/have on you, and how you unconsciously keep them alive. I suggest working with an experienced psychologist with whom you feel safe and you trust.
If you are really suffering, expect to spend at least two years with your therapist. Remember the rewards of feeling lovable and good enough are worth any amount of time and money.
I’m a believer in exploring different healing paths. I find that each path brings a different and important component to your healing process.
You might want to try hypnotherapy, homeopathy, meditation classes, yoga, cranial/sacral work and or coaching.
The Most Important Step
And the most important part of your healing journey needs to be spiritual.
The truth is that when you don’t feel lovable or good enough, you don’t believe that God / Source / Universe loves you.
Many people challenge me on that fact. And I understand that challenge. People usually aren’t truly in touch with how they think God feels about them.
People say “Oh no, I know God / Source / Universe loves me.” But that’s on an intellectual level. That is not what your heart feels or your consciousness truly believes.
Because when you know in your heart that God loves you, then you won’t have a core issue to heal. You will trust that everything will be provided for, that all things that happen will bring you great learning and healing, and ultimately peace and freedom.
You will never worry about being abandoned, mistreated, abused, rejected or victimized when you know God loves you.
You’ll surrender yourself and your will and let the Universe bring you what you ask for and what you need.
Surrender is the most challenging thing we have to learn to do.
Because painful and difficult things happen to all of us, we mistakenly think that they wouldn’t happen if God loved us. But that’s not how it works. Some things we create by our choices and we have to deal with the consequences of those choices. Some things get created because humans have free will. Some things may not make sense at the time, but they will later.
Many things are so that painful that we just have to turn them over to God and not try to make sense of them. That is surrender.
God / Source / Universe is all loving and only wants what is good and perfect for us. When we are open to that truth, and we trust that truth, then that is what we receive. Even when we are given something that on the surface doesn’t look so good, we are able to process through it rapidly and move on to an even higher level of trust and surrender.
Trust and surrender often come when you’re on your knees. And you can work daily, from your heart, to trust and surrender. You’ll be given signs of God’s love. If you don’t let the ego misinterpret them, then those signs will encourage you to trust and surrender even more.
The Ego vs. Trust and Surrender
Let me give you some examples of interpreting signs from the ego vs. from trust and surrender.
Suppose you don’t get a job you wanted, or a relationship doesn’t work out, or someone else buys a home you wrote an offer on.
From the ego’s perspective you would be a “loser,” not good enough or lovable enough. The ego would taunt you and be mean.
From the place of trust and surrender your response would be quite different. A healthy response would be to feel the disappointment, anger or hurt. It’s important to allow and honor your feelings. Then you would move on.
You would remember your connection to an all-loving God / Source / Universe. You would know God only wants the best for you and that you live in a loving supportive universe. That is trust and surrender.
So from a place of trust and surrender you would know something better is on the way – a better job maybe with more money, great people and stimulating work; or a new more perfect relationship is waiting for you when you’re ready; or you’ll discover a better house.
But your ego does not want to trust or to surrender. The ego’s reaction is the very antithesis of trust and surrender. When you listen to your ego, you are under its negative power. The ego sounds truthful and knowledgeable, but it’s always negative. It’s weak and it keeps you stuck not feeling good enough and not feeling lovable.
And when you don’t feel lovable or good enough then you will create that reality. Your thoughts do create your reality. Unless you are conscious of your connection to God / Source / Universe, you will create a lack of love.
When my clients trust and surrender, fabulous things happen to them. They attract loving, joyous relationships. They get married, have babies, they find strength they didn’t know they had, are able to draw and maintain their boundaries. They find their life purpose. They buy and create homes, build valuable businesses. They become loving, supportive and fun spouses, friends, parents, siblings, employees and employers. And most important of all, they learn to like and love themselves. They learn to honor who they are.
When you realize you are a child of God/ Source / Universe, when you realize that you are always connected to God, then you will know you are loved, worthy and good enough.
Then your core issue will not be present. And if it does come up, you will surrender it to God and you will be free of it.
One of my clients graciously consented to be interviewed about her journey to trust and surrender. The interview can be heard on my website (see address below.) Go to the home page, about half way down, where you’ll see the interview link under Featured Client Interview. Her story will inspire you to learn to know you are lovable.
Choose to walk the spiritual path. There are many ways to do that. Your choice will be perfect. Don’t let anyone judge you for your choice.
Most of the great spiritual teachers tell us to meditate. It’s in the quiet that you hear God. It’s in the quiet that you feel God’s love and guidance. Perhaps all paths need to include meditation – to feel the Divine’s love for you.
Choose to know that you are a precious child of a Divine Source/God. Choose to walk in the light of love. Then you will remember you are lovable. And then your life will be filled with freedom, love, peace and joy.
Imagine the possibilities…
© Carol Chanel
The most beautiful book I ever read about this realizing that God / Source / Universe is all loving was “Divine Romance, Volume II” by Paramahansa Yogananda. Yoganada talks so eloquently about his love of the Divine. It will bring tears to your eyes and give you a beautifully lighted, loving, inspirational path to walk.
You can order his book from his website:
“Through deep meditation, affirming, ‘I and my Father are one,’ you will know that you are a child of God. Hold on to that ideal. Meditate until you feel a great joy. When joy strikes your heart, God has answered your broadcast to Him; He is responding to your prayers and positive thinking.”
I teach people to overcome the obstacles that keep them stuck yet longing for romantic relationships, more self-confidence and inspiration to accomplish their dreams.
We sometimes forget what it feels like to live from our hearts and souls. We forget the thrill of taking the brakes off and flying. Life is dull if we just live from our minds.
Are you - or someone you know - settling, for less than exciting, either in relationships or a career?
Call me. You don't have to be stuck! And once you are unstuck you can be joyful and free again!
If you would like to explore working with me, please call me at 310-998-8860.
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Certified Life Coach
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