Don’t Blame Yourself!

Have you ever blamed yourself when someone behaved badly, unethically or even just unkindly?  Or thought you might have attracted it somehow?

Recently I caught myself wondering if I was to blame when someone we hired to do some work for us turned out to be unethical and cost us a lot of money.  As if I didn’t feel badly enough, adding blame to the mix really brought me a lot of pain.

I heard all the teachings of the Law of Attraction running through my head saying, “You attract your reality.”  “You get what you think about.”  My ego was saying, “Well, you must have somehow ‘attracted’ this situation and the actions of that unethical person.”  Ouch!

As you know, when someone does something wrong to you, it feels awful on all levels.  And do we really need to add blame into the mix of emotions?  No!

If things didn’t turn out as you had hoped in a certain situation, instead of blame – which is counterproductive – examine if there was something you could have done differently   It’s also beneficial to look to see if there were signs that you might have missed that had you known to look for them, would have given you an alert.  Notice there’s no blame in that scenario, there’s observation and learning.

Another thing we all can do is to have better boundaries.  You can be vigilant and mindful of how a relationship is unfolding.  Pay attention if someone is manipulating you with anger, guilt, sob stories, pouting or excuses.  Be mindful if there is a type of man/woman you usually are drawn to who doesn’t serve you long term.

Don’t feel or think that you attracted bad behavior from someone else.  That is the ego taking the Law of Attraction to an incorrect conclusion.  You are not responsible for anyone’s behavior.  They are responsible for their own behavior.  You are only responsible for how you react to their behavior.

The late, brilliant Dr. Wayne Dyer once said, “Love is my gift to the world.  I fill myself with love and I send that love out into the world.  How others treat me is their path; how I react is mine.”

How others treat you is their path.  Your reaction will ultimately create your Law of Attraction.  How?  If you fall into the victim mode, your vibration will reflect that victim energy and then you’re likely to attract people who might try to victimize you.  But if you choose not to be the victim in the first place, you are putting out a strong positive vibration, your boundaries will be more powerful and your consciousness more aware.

You can get thrown off balance and need help though when someone is unkind or unethical.  So to get back on solid footing – a positive uplifted vibration – when someone has mistreated you in any way, take some time to comfort yourself.  What they did can be hurtful.  It’s not personal, but it still hurts.  Talk to a friend, coach, therapist, advisor, and/or even a lawyer.  Give yourself permission to need to be comforted, give it to yourself and receive it from others.  Honestly, it’s how you easily move back to your center and inner power.

Then once you’re comforted and you find peace again, decide from a place of love how you want to move forward – decide how you want to react or better yet, respond.

And remember, whatever you do, don’t blame yourself.  Don’t say you attracted this bad behavior.  Instead, create the Law of Attraction you want by getting into a loving place and taking whatever action you want to take – respond – from that place.

Move back into a place of love and let yourself give that love out into the world. You’ll feel fabulous and so will the others around you who want to receive it.  And you’ll notice angels coming to you sharing their love with you.

Last week we were in Hawaii taking stock of some things.  I kept reciting Abraham’s quote:  “In optimism there is magic.”  After the 1st day I could feel a shift from angst back into peace.  On the 2nd day I knew an angel had been sent.  I read it so clearly in his eyes.  Every day angels were coming to us from every place imaginable.  I was jumping for joy because I knew I had shifted my vibration back to love.   That was and is my – and your – responsibility.  No matter what happens move back into love as soon as you can.

Remember, comfort first, then love, and then respond however you choose.

As we approach Thanksgiving here in the U.S., I am so thankful for all my amazing readers around the world.  Thank you for reading and responding to my ideas and words.  Thank you for being angels in my life.

Sending love, joy and peace to you…

© Carol Chanel


Carol's Services

I teach people to overcome the obstacles that keep them stuck yet longing for romantic relationships, more self-confidence and inspiration to accomplish their dreams.

We sometimes forget what it feels like to live from our hearts and souls. We forget the thrill of taking the brakes off and flying. Life is dull if we just live from our minds.

Are you - or someone you know - settling, for less than exciting, either in relationships or a career?

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You'll find other articles there and more in-depth information about both my services and me.

Carol Chanel
Certified Life Coach 

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