Disastrous Relationships – 3 Steps from Disastrous to Fabulous

A lot of my clients when they first come to me think that something is wrong with them because they aren’t in a passionate, fun, romantic relationship.

Instead, they seem to end up with the same harmful type of person, again and again. And the outcome is almost always the same – they feel badly about themselves when the relationship ends. “Another disastrous relationship!”

You can stop attracting disastrous people and start attracting fun, passionate and romantic relationships that are also healthy!

I want to teach you three crucial steps for how to get rid of disastrous people and replace them with fun, passionate, romantic, healthy men and women.

Step 1

The first step is easy. You want to start by paying attention to how you feel when you’re with a person. Your feelings – like wise counsels – tell you what’s really going on inside you. Is this a good person for you, or a not so good person for you? How do you feel when you’re with a person?

Step 2

Why are you attracted to that disastrous person?

Let’s start by having you look at what makes the person disastrous? Are they unavailable – emotionally, physically or spiritually? Are they critical and controlling? Are they exciting in the beginning and then drop you after they’ve “caught” you? Do they make demands on your time and energy, or are they aloof and uninterested?

What defines “disastrous” about this person? Be very clear here.

Don’t judge yourself though. This is the time for understanding and kindness. You’re just accepting that in the past you were attracted to this type of person.

Then with compassionate eyes, take a look at how it’s serving you to attract these types of people. Do they remind you of your father who never loved you the way you wanted him to? Do they remind you of the unattainable guy / girl in high school or college? Or do they seem exciting and fun and that’s missing in your life? Or are they a challenge? There is something you are wanting from continually allowing these people into your love life or life in general.

There isn’t one easy answer. I know I used to choose men who reminded me of my father – smart, unemotional, responsible, slim, handsome and rejecting. Oh boy were they disastrous. So I’m talking from personal experience here.

Step 3 – THE BEST FOR LAST

Whatever the answer is, there’s one crucial piece of information you need: if you are choosing disastrous people you are choosing from your ego, not from your heart!

It’s your ego that wants the person to love you, to think you’re worthy, attractive, smart, hip or good enough. Your heart already knows how precious you are and just wants to share love, passion, fun, trust and romance.

Once you’re clear on why you’re so attracted to this man or woman and you understand it’s your ego that’s driving this – then make a decision. Do you want to let your ego run your life, or do you want your heart to be in charge?

YOUR CHOICE

The choice is yours – ego and disastrous, or heart and fabulous!

When you choose to let your heart guide you — you’ll listen to your intuition and be guided to do what works for you in relationships, you won’t lose yourself because you won’t chose a man who wants you to; you’ll attract healthy people who are also fun and passionate; you’ll be in a relationship that enriches your life.

Let your heart choose. Quiet the ego – tell it to go take a long, long nap.

imagine the possibilities…

© Carol Chanel