Can’t Help Lovin’ That Man… To Pieces

HAPPY NEW YEAR! What a fun time of year this is. A time to set intentions and take action steps to accomplish what you’ve decided you want to do, be or have in your life this year.

I want you to take five minutes to feel yourself in the romantic relationship you truly want this year.

I’ve asked permission to quote one of my treasured clients who must “be loved to pieces and love her man to pieces.” She knows what it feels like and refuses to settle for less.

When she says it, there’s a lightness, almost a giddiness, yet a strength to her. She’s not heavy, confined, restricted or restricting. There’s so much love flowing out of her and to her that you light up and smile just hearing her talk about it. Doesn’t that sound like something you’d want too?


Do you know what being loved to pieces looks and feels like? In order to have a great romantic relationship you need to define that for yourself.

So no matter whether you’re in a relationship or in the process of creating one, this is a great place to look and create.

Being loved to pieces. Can’t you feel the man treasuring you? Not smothering you, treasuring you. Valuing you, enjoying you, adoring you, getting you. Like in the movie “Something’s Gotta Give,” Jack Nicholson’s character really GOT Dianne Keaton’s character.


I find that when my clients encounter a man that loves them to pieces, they’re a little uncomfortable at first. It’s a new thing. And you know why? Because we don’t usually love ourselves to pieces until we work on ourselves. I’m definitely speaking from personal experience here.

One of the by-products of working with a coach is learning to love yourself. You certainly learn to like yourself. Ask a person who’s had a coach for a while and really worked on themselves, if they value and enjoy who they are. If the person is participating in the coaching sessions, then they are learning what they have that makes them exciting, awesome and precious. And believe me, there’s so much that is exciting, awesome and precious about you.

So you learn to get a kick out of yourself – even when your ego starts being mean, you’re able to quiet it down – and you’re really appreciating the little and powerful things about yourself. Then a man or woman appears, and they are so blown away that they’ve actually met a person who really likes, and even loves themself. And since you’re exuding love, the most natural thing in the world, is for the man or woman to feel the love and give it back.


Here’s how it works – imagine loving your soul, heart and personality; and loving a partner to pieces and being loved to pieces. Madly, passionately, joyfully in love and loved by an available, healthy, strong man or woman.

See yourself giving and receiving this energy. Spend five minutes, 15 is better, a day, seeing and feeling this reality. You’re actually creating your reality this way.

Look at what is wonderful about you. Don’t let the critical ego convince you of flaws. We all have quirks – it makes us interesting, like lines on a face. The face is more interesting with lines than without them. As my husband – a photographer – says, “believe it.”

It doesn’t work to look to the man or woman to love you, so that you can then love yourself. If you do that, you’re bound to that particular person. And most of us don’t really like bondage. It doesn’t feel good.

So start off this New Year looking at what’s good about you. When the ego chimes in reminding you of the things you don’t like, tell it to get lost. It’s just a silly ego. It’s not your loving heart, wise soul and precious being.

Visualize yourself bathed in the light of love, sharing, giving, receiving. Feel yourself being loved to pieces.

imagine the possibilities…

© Carol Chanel

Q & A

From Suzanna, a 45-year-old account executive in Dallas, TX.

Q: Carol, I’ve just started dating a man that I really like. He’s my age, smart, kind, funny and seems to really like me. We have a great time when we see each other.

My question is, how do I know it’s for real this time? What if he’s just another guy that I’m going to have fun with and it doesn’t go anywhere? I’m ready to get married again. I’ve been divorced for five years and feel ready to settle down.

A: Suzanna, I can understand your fear. And it is just that – fear. Your heart just wants to love and express that love. When you go into a relationship fearing that it might not bring you what you want – guess what you’re likely to get? What you don’t want.

If instead you can relax, enjoy this man and the good times you have together, then the relationship has the chance to blossom, grow and thrive. Fear, like a dark cloud that shuts out the light, blocks the love and the thriving.

So don’t worry about the future. That’s the ego trying to convince you that you have more than this moment. You don’t. Please just live in the now and enjoy this relationship. Pay attention to what your intuition is telling you and what your heart is telling you.

If you want more support with that, I highly recommend the book, “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. It’s brilliant, not easy, but brilliant.

Suzanna, celebrate that the Universe has sent you someone to enjoy. Let your heart sing – don’t put it in a cage. Fly high with love.


One of my precious clients sent me the most wonderful book. I love this book and would like you to run right out – or go online to Amazon – and buy this for yourself. I feel my heart opening more and more and my spirit lifting higher and higher as I read each page.

“JOURNEY to the HEART” “Daily Meditations on the Path to Freeing Your Soul” by Melody Beattie.

It’s broken down into 365 daily meditations. Here are two of my favorites:

June 6 –“Discovering True Power”

“Much of our journey involves learning about power. We learn about the powers we don’t have – the power to control others, sometimes ourselves, and fate. We discover our true power – the power to take an endless journey into freedom and love.”

“We trudge the road searching for power, learning about our own. Somewhere in the journey we see the truth. It awakens quietly within us, shaking our soul, transforming our vision, teaching us what we knew all along. The power that lasts, the power that stays is the power of the heart.”

“Stillness. Faith. Gentleness. Kindness
Compassion. Joy. Forgiveness. Comfort.
Vulnerability. Honesty. Courage. And Love.
Now we’re talking about power.”

January 9 – “You’re Going Someplace New”

“You are opening up more and more. You are becoming clearer each day. Embrace the changes taking place. They are good. They will last. They will take you and your life to someplace new, someplace you can’t fully imagine now because it’s so different from where you have been.

You are open now, more open than
you’ve ever been. Trust the process and
trust your heart. The journey is not in vain.
Its purpose is to lead you to love.”

Carol's Services

I teach people to overcome the obstacles that keep them stuck yet longing for romantic relationships, more self-confidence and inspiration to accomplish their dreams.

We sometimes forget what it feels like to live from our hearts and souls. We forget the thrill of taking the brakes off and flying. Life is dull if we just live from our minds.

Are you - or someone you know - settling, for less than exciting, either in relationships or a career?

You can visit my website at:

You'll find other articles there and more in-depth information about both my services and me.

Carol Chanel
Certified Life Coach 

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