Assume the Positive!
As a Life Coach I listen and see people creating so much unnecessary drama in their lives. What’s the source of all the drama? One source is making negative assumptions about another persons’ comments, behavior or choices.
If you’re like many people, when something happens that isn’t what you wanted to happen, you feel unhappy, or angry or hurt. You’re probably having those reactions because you assumed the negative instead of the positive.
Let me give you an example of a negative assumption and a possible undesirable outcome from it. Suppose a new guy you’ve been dating doesn’t call you for four days. Then when he calls, you act cool towards him because you think he isn’t all that interested in you. After all, you negatively assume, if he was really interested he wouldn’t have let four days go by without calling. That would be assuming the negative! Your negative energy resulting from your negative assumption would turn him off or confuse him and he might not ever call back.
How would it look if you assumed the positive? The truth is you don’t know why he didn’t call for four days. Maybe he really was busy with a big project and wanted to talk to you when he wasn’t so stressed. Maybe he thought he shouldn’t appear too eager. Or maybe he has a life. All those reasons would make him a healthy man. A good guy to keep moving forward with. If you assumed the positive, he would get your positive energy and likely keep calling.
Let’s look at another example. Suppose a girlfriend didn’t want to go somewhere with you. Maybe you wanted to go to dinner after work and she didn’t want to go. Under the negative assumption you would assume she didn’t want to spend time with you. Under the positive assumption you would assume she wanted to take care of herself and you would support her in that choice. That’s what so great about friends – we usually don’t bring the negative assumption to the relationship.
Another example might revolve around the treatment you got from a doctor, or co-worker or your boss. People can be cross and cranky at times. If you make a negative assumption you’ll think they did it intentionally or that they don’t like you. If you make a positive assumption, you’ll ask, when they calm down, if they’re okay. Or you’ll wait for a more appropriate time and tell them you wish to be treated differently.
Assuming the positive goes for partners not doing things, friends not calling or people being late. Everything falls under this concept.
When you come from the positive assumption your life will be completely different. You won’t get angry, or hurt or annoyed. You’ll be more compassionate, open, curious and helpful. You’ll be more successful and have more fun. You’ll spend less time in the negative and more time in the positive. You’ll communicate clearly and live without created drama.
It’s a CHOICE! You can assume the negative or you can assume the positive! Try the positive. Practice it for one full week. You’ll be amazed at how often you assume the negative.
When you switch to assuming the positive you will love the results. You will attract all sorts of opportunities, love and great times. You’ll feel great and free!
It’s a choice. Assume the positive!!!
Imagine the possibilities….
© Carol Chanel
For more information on not making negative assumptions, read the third of “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz.
The third agreement is “Don’t Make Assumptions.” Don Miguel says, “The problem with making assumptions (the negative ones) is that we believe they are the truth. We make assumptions about what others are doing or thinking – we take it personally – then we blame them and react by sending emotional poison with our word. We make an assumption (negative), we misunderstand, we take it personally, and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing.”
You will understand why not making negative assumptions frees you to live and enjoy life. My life and so many others have been profoundly changed by Don Miguel Ruiz’s wisdom. It’s a short, easy-to-read book. Read it today and free yourself.
I teach people to overcome the obstacles that keep them stuck yet longing for romantic relationships, more self-confidence and inspiration to accomplish their dreams.
We sometimes forget what it feels like to live from our hearts and souls. We forget the thrill of taking the brakes off and flying. Life is dull if we just live from our minds.
Are you - or someone you know - settling, for less than exciting, either in relationships or a career?
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