7 Tips On Guys To Avoid For An Amazing Lasting Relationship! And Guys To Choose Instead!

Do you want to have an amazing long-term romantic relationship? Then choose someone you’re compatible with, have fun with and laugh a lot when you’re with them.

So often when a relationship isn’t working out clients tell me, “But I love him, I want this relationship to work out.  Why isn’t it?”  Because it takes so much more than love to have a relationship work for the long-term.  Don’t get me wrong, you have to love the person and vice versa, but it takes more than love.

Sometimes people think that just because they’re attracted to someone that the relationship has to work out.  Not true. It’s necessary, but there are other things equally important.

Let’s start with what doesn’t work in a relationship so you know the kind of guy to avoid and don’t invest too much time and energy.

Avoid the guy who bores you.  If you can’t talk to him without getting bored after 30 minutes, he won’t make a good long-term partner for you.  I don’t care how good he is to look at!

Avoid the guy who is so serious that you notice he doesn’t laugh much around you and you don’t laugh much when you’re around him.  A man without a sense of humor will not be able to have a great perspective on life when things go wrong.  You can’t survive the ups and downs of life without a sense of humor.

Avoid the driven to succeed at all costs guy.  I’ve seen guys who are so driven to succeed that they don’t stop to have fun or take care of their health.  These guys aren’t going to be healthy in the long run and you’ll be in the prime of your life taking care of a guy who is sick.

Avoid the guy who doesn’t like to do at least two of your three favorite things.  If you like to exercise, take vacations and go to movies and he doesn’t like any of those things you’re probably not going to be compatible for the long term. You’ll be at the gym, or outside exercising, by yourself or with other people; you’ll be taking vacations alone or with friends; and you’ll be going to the movies with other people. All three scenarios are going to take you away from him, not build a bond with him.

Avoid the guy who isn’t willing to communicate about what he’s thinking and feeling.  Guys by nature aren’t often communicative about these things, but if you can’t draw him out in a relatively short period of time, he’s not your guy. You’ll always be guessing and you can’t build a relationship by guesswork.

Avoid the guy who blames you for how he feels and who doesn’t take responsibility for his feelings and actions.  You can’t grow a relationship when responsibility isn’t shared.

Avoid the addict, alcoholic or violent guy!!!  No exceptions – ever!

What Works Better For a Great Long-Term Relationship?

First, you want to pay attention to how you feel with this person when you’re doing small things.  Are you having a good time?  Are you relaxed, comfortable, safe?  If you feel those things it’s a good start.

Choose This Guy

You want to be with a guy who has similar life goals.  For instance, it rarely works for a long-term relationship if you want children and he doesn’t.  What if he wants to be super successful and acknowledged for his achievements?  That means he’s not going to be around much.  If you have your own career goals, that might work.  But if you don’t, you will be lonely.

You want a guy who has similar money objectives.  This is huge.  If you like to save and he likes to spend and you both aren’t willing to compromise, then it won’t work.  You have to be on the same page.  You have to be willing to talk about finances, work on them together and have shared goals.

You want a guy who is willing to compromise.  And YOU have to be willing to compromise. If it feels like sacrifice, it’s not compromise.  Sacrifice can ruin a relationship; compromise keeps it growing.

I hope these little tips help you to realize a relationship has a lot of components that are necessary in order for it to flourish and bring joy and fulfillment to both of your lives.

And remember, not every relationship has to be a long-term relationship.  People come into our lives and bring us gifts of love and learning.  They teach us what works and what doesn’t work for us.  Be grateful for all the people with whom you’ve spent time and acknowledge their contribution to your life.  That creates a positive place to attract your ideal long-term partner.

Be discerning, honest with yourself about yourself and what works for you, and be optimistic about your life and your relationships.

Imagine the possibilities…

© Carol Chanel