5 Steps to Fulfilling Your Dreams

Sunday night I watched the “Ron Clark Story” on TV. The story was about a group of 6th graders in Harlem who had underperformed on all their tests and were grouped together in an underperformers class. Everyone had given up on these kids, so they had given up on themselves.

Ron Clark, a gifted teacher who specialized in helping children raise their test scores, worked to help those children learn and test well so they could move forward in life. He did it by believing in them, and giving them basic rules to help them live their lives and some “coaching” to help them in areas where they were challenged.

Through Ron Clark’s determination, caring heart, creative “coaching” and tutoring he helped everyone of those 6th graders score above the average and even above the honors class, which enabled them to go on to good middle schools to receive better education.

More importantly he taught them to believe in themselves and that knowledge and experience will be with them the rest of their lives.

You could call Ron Clark a Life Coach. The principles are really the same. I believe in my clients. I know they can have what they want in life. I know my clients’ dreams and desires are showing them what they can and will have in this lifetime, if they don’t let themselves get discouraged and then derailed.

Don’t Get Derailed

We all get derailed from time to time. It’s whether we get back up, choose to believe and start moving forward again that allows us to realize our dreams.

What is it you’re dreaming of having in your life? A great relationship? Lots of money? Work that fills your soul and your bank account? More energy and a toned body?

Does this scenario sound familiar? You decide, ok, this year I’m going to meet that special someone or I’m going to make lots of money or I’m going to get in great shape. You’re going along feeling optimistic then, something happens and you get derailed and give up hope.

And once you’ve given up hope then you are right back where you started feeling hopeless or powerless. Almost like, “what’s the point, it’s never going to happen anyway, why bother?” At that point, the ego has control and you’re stuck in fear or despair.

You don’t have to give up your dreams and desires. You just need to understand how to change your process and take different steps to get where you’re going.

When you understand getting derailed is part of the process, and you know what to do, then you can quickly get back up and moving forward again.

So What Actually Happens?

I was listening to an Abraham-Hicks CD the other day. Abraham was talking about Jerry and Esther making the trip from Phoenix to San Diego to hold a workshop. He compares their journey to the journey we make in life.

His point is that Jerry and Esther don’t get to Yuma – the midway point – and say, “it’s too far to get to San Diego, we’ll never make it, San Diego is an impossible dream” and turn around and go back to Phoenix. They keep going until they reach San Diego.

Everybody has negative thoughts (the ego) that come up when they reach “Yuma” that cause them to get discouraged or derailed and want to quit and go back to Phoenix.

People, who don’t quit (or don’t give in to their ego) get where they’re going. Whether they want to have a fabulous, healthy, romantic relationship; a fun, good paying job; live in another country; make new friends; make more money or lose weight and get fit.

It doesn’t matter what your San Diego (your dream) is, it only matters that you don’t let your ego stop you in Yuma.

It’s the ego that creates thoughts of fear, despair, powerlessness or depression, which then causes you to give up on your dream and turn around and go back to Phoenix.

We all have an ego and that ego will present all sorts of reasons, facts, supposed realities or supporting evidence to convince us we should quit trying to get to where we want to go.

So to get past Yuma you want to know what your ego says that derails or discourages you and causes you to quit.

I already mentioned some: “why bother you’re never going to get in shape, you’re too old,” “who are you kidding you’re not worthy of a promotion and more money,” “you’re going to be alone for the rest of your life, you might as well get used to it.”

Client Examples

One of my clients wanted to be a successful graphic artist but every time she’d almost get her business going she would let her boyfriend talk her into going on a business trip with him. She was afraid of losing him, so she put her own needs second to his. Then when she returned, the clients who had been interested in hiring her had found someone else. She told herself, what’s the point I’ll never be successful.

Another client wanted to have a loving, passionate, exciting relationship but when a man asked her out who didn’t mesh with her dreams she would get discouraged and give up on dating. Her ego would chime in with comments like, “No one wants to marry you,” or “You’re going to have to settle for the losers if you want to be with a man,” “You might as well realize you’re going to spend the rest of your life alone.”

One of my clients wanted to make extra money to travel. She worked as a bookkeeper and every time she mentioned raising her rates to be competitive with others in her field, she would hear from a client about how tough things were in their life. My client would then decide there was no way she could raise her rates. Then her ego would tell her she would never be able to travel and see the world. She was going to be stuck working on other people’s businesses, in their offices for the rest of her life.

Can you hear how the ego came in and discouraged each of these clients? How it even derailed them and had them give up on their dream?

Don’t Get Stuck in Yuma

So if you’re heading to San Diego, don’t let your ego stop you in Yuma and send you back to Phoenix.

I’ll give you some ideas and then I recommend that next time you’re working toward realizing your dream, and you feel yourself getting discouraged, that you listen to what your ego says to you. Become conscious of how it tries to sabotage you.

It might be something like: “what’s the point?” “It’ll never happen,” “I’m always the one left behind,” “I can’t have what I want,” “I don’t deserve more money,” “I’m not worthy of love.” Just listen and you’ll hear it. The message will be negative, it will not be uplifting, it will make you feel badly about yourself and life.

When you hear your ego, then I want you to do the following 5 steps to pull yourself out of fear, despair or discouragement, and back to hopefulness and optimism.

The idea is to try to catch yourself before you go all the way back to Phoenix – fear, despair, powerlessness. Eventually you will. But if you do go to fear or despair, that’s okay too, the same steps apply. Do not let the ego win.


1) STOP! Just say STOP to yourself, to your negative inner dialogue. Keep saying it until your mind literally stops its negative talk. You don’t want to have to remember anything too detailed. Saying stop works. Keep saying it until your ego hears it. Get firm and loud when necessary. It will stop if you’re persistent with it.

2) RECONNECT – to Divine Source / God / Spirit. You’re always connected, but sometimes it doesn’t feel that way. By consciously reminding yourself of your connection to the Source of love, abundance and joy, you’re opening yourself up to remembering you are worthy, loved, valued and part of an all-loving, all-wise Source. You can reestablish your connection through a quiet moment, a walk in a park or on the beach, sitting and meditating, praying, asking for strength and a reminder that you’re always connected. Stay still until you feel it again.

3) REACH FOR A BETTER FEELING THOUGHT – whatever you’re thinking reach for a better feeling thought. If it’s not this man, there will be another man who will be a good partner. If I don’t get a pay raise with this job, I’ll attract a new job that will pay me more. If I don’t get this house then a better one will be right around the corner. If I raise my rates and I lose this client I’ll be open to attracting one who wants to pay my rates.

4) TRUST – trust that you are doing the right thing for the people God / Source sends you and keep moving forward. Trust that Source is doing the right thing for you.

5) ACTION – take an action step when you’ve connected, are thinking a better feeling thought and trusting, only then will you begin to manifest what you want in your life. The mistake people make in this step is they think, “well if I just work harder then things will happen.” No. Working harder from a place of fear, disconnection and a tormenting ego will only get you more of what you don’t want. So take the time to do the 1st four steps and then your action step will produce the desired results.

Take these steps – they work.

Life will bring you what you’ve asked for if you keep believing and moving forward from a place of optimism and determination.

Remember the children of Harlem who against all odds and doubts showed themselves and the world what they could do when they believed in themselves and shut out all those doubts.

Choose to not get stuck in Yuma. Choose to not listen to your ego. Choose to reconnect and reach for a better feeling thought. Choose to trust and then take action.

imagine the possibilities..

© Carol Chanel

Q & A

One of my clients called the other day and asked me for some steps to keep her from getting stuck in Yuma. Since she’s been working with me for a while she had the framework that I outlined in the main article. I wanted you all to have the framework so you could put the steps to work in your life.

Happy Dreaming, Happy Achieving


If you want more information about the subject matter in the main article there are two brilliant books and a CD that are insightful and inspiring.

“The Power of Intention” by Dr. Wayne Dyer

“Ask and It’s Given” by Abraham-Hicks

Abraham-Hicks Kansas City 9/14/05 CD – single CD, about $15.
Available on their website:

Or you can call them to order it at 1-830-755-2299

These books and CD’s are uplifting, inspiring and powerful and provide the tools you’ll need to have a life of happiness, love, fulfillment and joy.

Keep believing, allowing and receiving!

Carol's Services

I teach people to overcome the obstacles that keep them stuck yet longing for romantic relationships, more self-confidence and inspiration to accomplish their dreams.

We sometimes forget what it feels like to live from our hearts and souls. We forget the thrill of taking the brakes off and flying. Life is dull if we just live from our minds.

Are you - or someone you know - settling, for less than exciting, either in relationships or a career?

You can visit my website at:

You'll find other articles there and more in-depth information about both my services and me.

Carol Chanel
Certified Life Coach

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