The Secret to Feeling Better
Do you want to know the secret to feeling better? There’s a powerful technique we’ve all used instinctively. I want to bring it to your consciousness so you can apply it any time you want to feel better.
The ego likes to take your mind to the worst-case scenario – it likes to remind you of the past – the past that didn’t work out. It will pull you from the most hopeful, joyous feeling to doom and gloom, in oh, about 30 seconds, sometimes less.
You need to be firm with your mind to keep it from crashing from joy, or even hope, to doom and gloom. According to the teachings of Abraham, the way to do that is to reach for a “better feeling thought.”
Abraham Scale of Emotions
The scale of emotions from Abraham’s new book, “Ask and It Is Given” is: fear / grief / depression / despair / guilt / powerlessness; rage; revenge; anger; blame; overwhelment; irritation; pessimism; hopefulness; optimism; positive expectation; then joy.
Do you ever notice when you’re feeling a little depressed, if something makes you mad, you actually feel better because you’re not depressed any more?
Moving from Powerlessness to Positive Expectation
I want to share with you how a recent situation challenged me to keep reaching for a “better feeling thought.” Recently we were having new hardwood floors installed. The first day the flooring men damaged our expensive mattress. I thought, “oh no, now I’m going to have to monitor every second they’re here.” But I knew that was impossible. I felt powerless. After talking to my husband I realized they made a mistake because they were moving too fast. So my powerlessness went to anger that they were careless. Then I reached for another better feeling thought which was irritation that we were now going to have to negotiate with the company for damages. Then, I was pessimistic because I thought it wouldn’t be resolved properly. Still wanting to feel better, I talked to a wise man and learned how to deal with the company, which lifted me to hope. Then I let the whole thing go – it’s just a mattress – and moved back to positive expectation that they would do a good job. (Don’t you love how the Universe gives you opportunities to use what you learn?!!)
The truth is no matter how much work you do on yourself; certain situations have the energy that can trigger your mind to slide from your present emotion down the scale. There isn’t anything wrong with going down, it just doesn’t feel very good. And the way the Law of Attraction works, if you stay down too long you will attract more things that will have you feel despairing, angry, etc.
And here’s the other challenge – your ego will tell you something is wrong with you and that will keep you stuck at a certain emotional set point.
What the Ego Tells You
The ego can be ruthless in seeing situations as the worst-case scenario. And the ego will have you, if you let it, believe something negative about yourself.
Some harmful ego perspectives are: “I can’t trust people, they are out to get me,” “No one likes me for who I am,” “I’m not worthy of more money,” “I’m not worthy of love,” “People will hurt me if I let them,” and “I’m not lovable.”
The truth is most people are not out to hurt you or disrespect you; and they do like you for who you are. They can love you when they love themselves. Most people are dealing with their own internal battle to keep their ego quiet – so they can feel good about themselves and give that back to you. So you’ll like them too. See the cycle?
Can you feel yourself relaxing when you allow yourself to realize others aren’t out to hurt you and actually like you? Can you feel yourself relaxing when you allow yourself to realize they are attracted to you and find you incredibly desirable and can’t understand why you don’t think the same way about yourself?
You need to be firm with yourself. Notice when your mind starts thinking with the old perspective: “I’m not lovable.” That’s the biggest lie in the Universe. Does that sound like something your heart would say? No way. That’s the ego talking.
Heart or Ego
Here are some guidelines for you: Start by listening to what your mind is saying and determine if it’s from the heart or the ego. The heart says lovely, supportive things – “That person is doing their best.” “That was a good thing you just did.” “Did you see that person light up when you talked to them?” “You were doing your best by speaking your truth with kindness.”
The ego says: “That was stupid.” “Why did you do that, you’re always screwing up.” “Can’t you get anything right?” “People are no good, you can’t trust them.”
Do you see and feel the difference? The heart is loving and supportive, the ego is critical and judgmental!
So you know when your heart is sharing and when your ego is sharing by how you feel.
So if the ego is talking to you, notice that you don’t feel good, then be firm with your ego. Some things you could say to it are: “I’m not going to listen to you ego, you are just trying to make me believe something that isn’t true.” “I know you’re just trying to protect me, but I don’t need you to do that now.” “Get lost, go away, leave me alone, be gone!!”
Say whatever works to quiet your ego. Then look at the emotional set point scale and reach for a better thought.
Quieting the ego, quieting your inner critic is the most important process you’ll do. Integrating the heart, soul and mind is a powerful and necessary journey to find and live in freedom, love, peace and joy.
You can do this! Yes it takes discipline, yes it takes determination and oh, the rewards are worth the effort.
Choose to believe in yourself, choose to value yourself, choose to love yourself, choose to be firm with your ego.
imagine the possibilities…
© Carol Chanel
Q & A
From Charlene, a 26-year-old mortgage broker in Portland, OR.
Q: Carol, I want help with understanding how to share the Law of Attraction with my friends. I read the Abraham book, “Ask and It Is Given” and I’ve been applying and experiencing how it works for my business and my love life. I want my friends to be able to have the same results.
My challenge is they all think I’m a little crazy asking the “Universe” for things. They believe in luck and hard work. I work hard and I believe that the Universe wants to give me what I ask for. I see it everyday in my work. What do I say to my friends to convince them?
A: Charlene, what a great question! Thanks for asking it.
The best way to convince people that the Laws of the Universe really work is through your example. Their minds are resisting because the ego loves the “logical, prove it” position. And once the ego takes a position, forget about trying to convince the ego of another possibility. The ego needs to defend its position. So I would just let them be. When their ego isn’t as dominant, then they will be more receptive.
They will continue to witness your financial success and your love life flourishing. That will get their attention. Then when they ask you what you’re doing to get all this great stuff, then you can tell them.
They will be more receptive at that point. Remember people get concepts when they are ready, and not a second before that. And there isn’t anything wrong with that. It’s their process and their pace. And we all deserve the dignity of our process and pace.
Charlene, congratulations on studying, learning and applying the Laws of the Universe! Your friends will see what’s happening and when they are ready, they will apply them as well.
I’ve shared this book before and I really want to mention it again:
“Ask and It Is Given” by Ester and Jerry Hicks on The Teachings of Abraham.
This is an easy to read, powerful book. At the back of the book there are processes to help you move up the scale of emotions. They are easy to understand, clear, fun and highly effective.
The book also comes in an audio form.
On their website you can also sign up to receive a monthly CD that is a recording of one of their workshops. I love the CD’s. They’re a great way to get information that can help you create the life you want – right in the comfort of your home or car. And they only cost $15 a month. There is so much great information on them, that it usually takes me a month to fully grasp it all and then there’s my next one. I get so excited when the next one shows up. I know I’m going to learn, laugh and thrive.
Check out their website and see what feels right for you. The CD’s make great gifts too.
I teach people to overcome the obstacles that keep them stuck yet longing for romantic relationships, more self-confidence and inspiration to accomplish their dreams.
We sometimes forget what it feels like to live from our hearts and souls. We forget the thrill of taking the brakes off and flying. Life is dull if we just live from our minds.
Are you - or someone you know - settling, for less than exciting, either in relationships or a career?
Call me. You don't have to be stuck! And once you are unstuck you can be joyful and free again!
If you would like to explore working with me, please call me at 310-998-8860.
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Certified Life Coach
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