“How to be Wild and Free!” Part 7
Have you noticed yourself feeling freer?
Are you more willing to be wild? To let your wild side be more
Have you started living life beyond your wildest dreams?
Are you feeling more excited and joyful?
There’s one final key that makes living wilder and freer
possible and worthwhile. It’s the best key. I intentionally
saved it for last.
The final key is giving and receiving love.
GIVING AND RECEIVING LOVE
Why do you need to give and receive love to be wild and free?
What is the purpose of being in this world if you aren’t loving?
When you decide to love full out – with no holds barred, nothing
restraining you – you are being wild and free.
This is the single most challenging area for all of us. Why?
Because we are afraid.
THE GREMLIN TERRITORY
This is the territory of the Gremlin, or ego or judge, whatever
you want to call it. I’m going to refer to it as the Gremlin. In the
love arena the Gremlin really goes to work.
Its job is to protect you. To maintain the status quo. To keep
you safe at all costs.
The trouble is the COST is too high a price to pay to be safe.
To live your life without giving and receiving love is too high
a price to pay to be safe or even somewhat protected. You
can do that with good boundaries. And developing and
listening to your inner voice.
Let me tell you what a recent client, Cynthia, said regarding her
fear of giving and receiving love in romantic relationships.
Cynthia had worked with me on her fears, for about four months,
and was ready to date again – after taking a six month break.
She started dating and met a wonderful man but noticed she
was afraid of taking it to the next level – commitment.
“If I love this man he will have some power over me.” Only
if you give him the power.
Then her Gremlin said: “I’m afraid because I’ve been hurt before.”
That message is scripted to keep you safe. And keep you stuck.
How do you know what this new man is like? Can you know for
a fact that he will hurt you?
Now, the Gremlin is losing ground and really kicks into high gear:
“Well, I’m not going to love because I really have been injured in
the past and there’s no way I’m going to risk that pain again.”
That experience might be true. And are you going to let some
emotionally unhealthy person(s) from the past keep you from our
greatest gift – love?
Her gremlin had some other excuses and now Cynthia saw them
for what they were – excuses and devices to keep her safe.
She decided to look at the truth. She is emotionally healthy. She
draws good boundaries. She listens to her inner voice when it
says ‘danger.’ She knows she is a goddess and therefore trusts
that she will attract good men to her.
And of equal importance, she knows that each person in her life
teaches her about herself, love and forgiveness.
For Giving Love to yourself and others.
Giving and receiving love starts with trusting god – the source
of love – trusting yourself and then realizing that no matter who
comes into your life, you have the power to LEAVE. To learn.
To grow. And to keep loving, without becoming bitter and angry.
Please don’t rip yourself off by not loving, It’s too high a price to
pay. And do you want to live without feeling love?
Let yourself give love and receive love. Don’t rip other people
off by not receiving it.
You can hold onto your fear of the past repeating itself or you
can let go and love. You know when you give love with all your
heart, it comes back to you, a hundred times over.
That feeling of loving is the most miraculous of all feelings.
You can choose to be wild and free. You can choose love.
“…in order to be your Self (wild and free), you have to share your
Self. What you KEEP you LOSE. This is the principle of giving
and receiving that will free you to be whole hearted.”
“A Course of Love” by Perron and Odegard
Who you are is love.
When you choose to give and receive love –
imagine the possibilities….
© Carol Chanel
Q & A
From Christine, a physical therapist who lives in Chicago
Q: “I have trouble allowing my boyfriend to give me love.
He gets upset because he feels like I’m rejecting him.”
A: Good for him for speaking up. While I know from our
correspondence that you don’t want to reject him, it can
feel that way to the person on the other end.
Often as women we’ve been taught to love but we aren’t
always very good at allowing ourselves to receive it.
It is often a power, or a control issue or a lack of experience.
Ask him to go slow, start with one small step at a time and let
yourself receive his love. See how it feels allowing one small
thing at a time. Then allow more. It’s a step-by-step process.
For instance, maybe he likes to show his love by cooking dinner,
or giving you a neck rub. Maybe he wants to buy you an item
that you mentioned you wanted, or write you a poem.
If he doesn’t want anything in return, except thank you, and joy
on your part, then accepting and appreciating his love is part of
building a healthy, lasting relationship.
Trust gets built over time, with experience, good boundaries, and
allowing the person to be their best.
Most men like to do great things for women they love; it’s how they
show their love and appreciation. Let them love you. Let them
Christine, once you allow yourself to receive, you’ll be thrilled
at how much more trusting and therefore loving you will be.
Let it flow!
A PRODUCT YOU’LL WANT TO HAVE:
I love to pass along tips that come my way to help take care
of ourselves. This tip is to help with your monthly breast exam.
This usually brings up all sorts of things for women. And how
well I understand. My mother died of breast cancer when I
was just seven. So this is an important topic for me.
I recently met a wonderful man who represents a company that
created a special pad to help with this process.
This product is amazing. It makes examination so much easier.
It also makes a thoughtful gift and, for $20 including shipping,
an affordable one as well.
The link to the site to purchase this is:
I hope this helps to make the process easier, more accurate and
I teach people to overcome the obstacles that keep them stuck yet longing for romantic relationships, more self-confidence and inspiration to accomplish their dreams.
We sometimes forget what it feels like to live from our hearts and souls. We forget the thrill of taking the brakes off and flying. Life is dull if we just live from our minds.
Are you - or someone you know - settling, for less than exciting, either in relationships or a career?
Call me. You don't have to be stuck! And once you are unstuck you can be joyful and free again!
If you would like to explore working with me, please call me at 310-998-8860.
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You'll find other articles there and more in-depth information about both my services and me.
Certified Life Coach
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